Thursday, December 3, 2009

Can there be a title?

Does putting a running blog together mean that I will actually achieve a lifetime goal? Sometimes the idea of something is so exciting but the actual action of it is far different than what I had in mind. As a girl I could not run around the track without stopping and in high school we had to complete something called the “12 minute run” I hated and dreaded those days. Running was never for me! I didn’t like it, I wasn’t good at it and figured it was a waste to even try, after all it wasn’t even fun…why would I do something that I hated. Then one day came and it was another “12 minute run” day and I was tired of getting marked because I walked so I wondered what if I just kept running and didn’t stop. I know there would be an end because it would only last 12 minutes so just go for it, well that was the first day that I ran without stopping. I was shocked and from there on out every time I ran without stopping I felt like I had achieved something for me…Jill. I was and still am not any kind of athlete but just being able to go above and beyond what I THOUGHT I could do was huge. I never again walked during a “12 minute run”.

That was years ago! I am less than a week away from turning 31. Last year around this time I wrote in my journal about all the things I hoped to achieve for 2009 and my 30th year of life and though I got closer than ever before to meeting a few of them I still didn’t complete the one that has always been in the back of my mind, the one thing I swore I would and could never do (my heart is beating fast even as I write this) and that is a MARATHON! Not a half, but a full. Some people would say a half is just as good as a full but did you know that there is 13.1 miles more to full? Yah…that is a lot! I will see that 2009 has far exceeded what I ever thought I would do. I ran 2 half marathons and completed in a sprint triathlon. I learned a lot and was so proud of myself for doing all of them. I lost all and a little more of the baby weight I had gained with baby boy #2, Cole. All in all 2009 has been good to me. The only problem is I have stopped most of my running and working out. Did I mention that I love to eat…and eat! So the great thing about training for all my races this past year is I could eat because I was running and the scale still moved down, but now…that is not the case so much. It’s cold outside and dark in the morning and honestly the last thing I want to do is run. I don’t even like to think about it and I would rather just sit at home with my snuggie and watch “The Office” and other reality shows. But the truth is I am not happy. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work and the only sanity I get is when I run. I feel like I am a better MOM, WIFE and FRIEND when I have been running. I have a run a little in the last month and can’t believe how much better I felt once I was out there with my iPod doing something…for ME. It’s my time to re-group, focus, talk to God, not talk, and focus on the words of the music I listen to and meditate on life.

I am scared, more scared than normal. I was scared to do the half but not as much because 13.1 miles didn’t seem like such a big deal, I mean it was a big deal to me but a FULL…it just seems so different and I really doubt my ability to even do it. It just seems to far out there to actually achieve…for me, Jill the girl who couldn’t run around the track! My dream is to one day run a full, 26.2 mile marathon. I will run 26.2 miles on June 26, 2010, one year after I ran my very first half marathon! (My heart is now racing again!)
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...